At the 1897 Eastern Conference of Electromotive Engineers, Nikola Tesla postulated that the Freak Magnet, acting as a capacitor, could store and align similar freak waveforms. This action would bring together objects with compatible strangeness. Most conference attendees laughed when Tesla suggested using these theoretic properties of the Freak Magnet to get dates. A few scientists, later revealed not to be human, encouraged Tesla to pursue his theorem. In 1902, to get himself and his friends more dates, he began construction of a large scale Freak Magnet Harmonic Oscillator in Wardencliff Long Island. When agents of the Con got wind of this, they rallied local and federal pinks to shut the operation down. His F.M.H.O. tower was dismantled before his dream could be realized. Tesla's vision was thought to have died with him, but, thanks to the same Yeti scientists that encouraged Nikola Tesla, Rev. Burton-Finnegan has assembled a new, state of the art, broad band width F.M.H.O. to be used exclusively for this contest! The pull you felt to this web site was it's unmistakable force.

This is it!
Your chance to date a genuine Holy man. Rev. Burton-Finnegan is using the power of the Freak Magnet in a red blooded attempt to promote his church and provide some lucky contestant with an enjoyable afternoon/evening of romance.

To enter this exciting contest, please review the following eligibility constraints.

  • Entrants must be 18 years or older at time of entry.
  • Entrants must have a valid return e-mail address.
  • Entrants can not be professionally affiliated with The First Church of the Mighty Freak Magnet.
  • Entrants must be willing to travel to the East Village of New York City for the actual date.
  • In the event the good Reverend is broke at the time of the date, entrants must be willing to eat slice pizza and watch rental videos.
  • If the date is scheduled for a Sunday night, entrants must be willing to watch Babylon 5, then go to the S.T. bar.

If you meet all of these criteria, please use the "Contest Entry" link below to compose an essay of no more than 100 words with the topic being; "Why I want a date with Finn". You may attach any pictures or other files, you feel may sway the judges, to the e-mail. Essays must be received before August 15th, 1996.
Essays will be judged by Rev. Burton-Finnegan, Rev. King Lou, Doktor RingDing, and a panel of experts.
In the event of a tie, the top entrants will be notified and must submit a sudden death essay within 10 days of the date of notification.
As consolation, runners-up have the option of dating The good reverends roommates, friends and associates.