Days: 453

Countries: 39
(England#, France#, Spain#, Portugal, Morocco, Monaco*, Italy, Greece#, Egypt, Israel#, Jordan, Cyprus*, Turkey, Belgium*, Scotland, South Africa#, Namibia#, Angola*, Botswana#, Zimbabwe, Cape Verde Islands*, Swaziland, Mauritius, India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Thailand#, Cambodia, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong (China)#, Macau*, New Zealand#, Australia, Fiji, Cook Islands, Tahiti*, United States of America#, Canada#)

 (#=multiple entries; *=walk-thrus or other non-overnight situations)

Continents: 5

American states: 19

Canadian provinces: 2

Flights: 39.5 (one Auckland-Christchurch flight was turned back)

Beds: >155

Significant train journeys: >34

Significant ferry journeys: >22

Significant bus journeys: >23

Urban subway train systems used: >15

Books read: >30

Lowest point: Dead Sea, Israel/Jordan

Highest point: Mount Everest, Nepal/China (by sight); 5000m peak near border of Tibet at Kyanjin Gompa, Nepal (bodily)

Northernmost point: Inverness, Scotland

Southernmost point: Lyttelton, New Zealand

Equator crossed: 6 times

New stamps in my passport: 78

New stickers in my passport: 16

New embossments in my passport: 1

Pages added to my passport: 24

Pages filled: 22

Types of ameoebas my doctor says are now living peacefully within my bowels: 3

Favorite foreign cities:
1. Cape Town, South Africa
2. Edinburgh, Scotland
3. Sydney, Australia
4. Istanbul, Turkey
5. Madrid, Spain

Best kept secrets:
1. The Turkish coast
2. Namibia
3. South Africa's Western Cape
4. Petra
5. Angkor Wat

Most overrated:
1. Kathmandu, Nepal
2. Barcelona, Spain
3. Thailand
4. Australian Gold Coast
5. Jerusalem

Memory improves with age: Egypt, Morocco
Memory degrades with age: Malaysia, Fiji

Most expensive: United Kingdom
Least expensive: India
Surprisingly expensive: Cambodia
Surprisingly cheap: Thailand, New Zealand

Hottest populace:
1. Spain
2. Israel
3. Greece
4. South Africa
5. Turkey

Ugliest folk:
1. Scotland
2. Germany
3. China

Swarthiest men:
1. Egypt
2. Bangladesh
3. Nepal

Saddest dogs:
1. India  2. Thailand  3. Nepal

Most Miami-like:
Tel Aviv, Israel (the people)
Durban, South Africa (the condos and crime)
Napier, New Zealand (the Art Deco)
Athens, Greece (the grime and poor immigrants)
Nice, France (the brainlessness and German tourists)

Best lepers: Mumbai (Bombay), India

Bucking trends: I got all the way around the world without:
1. Going to McDonald's
2. Getting pierced or tattooed
3. Having my bag searched by a government agent (or anyone)
4. Sampling the local drug
5. Bunjy jumping
6. Getting Delhi Belly (in OR out of Delhi)
7. Hitchhiking (though I did accept rides from strangers)
8. Betting in a casino
9. Having a Starbucks
10. Getting mugged

Hot!
1. Luxor  2. Taman Negara, Malaysia  3. Siem Reap, Cambodia

Cold!
1. Upper Langtang valley, Nepal
2. San Francisco in July
3. Loch Ness, Scotland

[[Sign over restaurant in Fatehpur Sikri, India: "HANG ON FOR DELIGHTFUL DELICIOUS YUM-YUM PREPARATIONS OF THE PLACE"]]

My biggest "I-finally-made-it" sigh-inducing landmarks
1. The Taj Mahal, Agra, India
2. Mount Everest, Nepal/China
3. The Acropolis, Athens, Greece
4. The Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
5. Sydney Opera House, Australia

Best Nap Spots:
1. In the ruins of a patrician's home, Petra, Jordan
2. On the lawn of the Taj Mahal, Agra, India
3. Atop Arthur's Seat, Edinburgh, Scotland
4. Syntagma Square at dawn, Athens, Greece
5. Plattekilp Gorge, Table Mountain, Cape Town, South Africa

Excruciating but worthwhile:
1. Trekking into the Nepalese Himalaya
2. Whitewater rafting on the Zambezi (Zimbabwe/Zambia)
3. Climbing Masada (Israel) in time for sunrise
4. Rainforest trekking in humid Malaysia
5. Riding with Eurailers

Film gobblers:
1. Angkor Wat, Cambodia (over 5 rolls, and none of them capture it)
2. Sydney Opera House (2 rolls, in every light)
3. Mount Everest (when are you gonna be back?)
4. The Taj Mahal, India (in every attitude, at every time of day)
5. Uluru, Australia (sunrise, sunset, in between, and all around)

Gross-outs
1. Human barbecue, Varanasi, India
2. Cow decapitation, Dhaka, Bangladesh
3. "Good morning, leprosy!", Mumbai, India
4. Deep-fried Mars bar, Edinburgh, Scotland
5. National Park toilets, Yellowstone, United States

Best sunrise:
1. Sossusvlei, Namibia
2. The Ganges River, Varanasi, India
3. Inside the Taj Mahal, India
4. Uluru, Australia
5. Masada, Israel

Best sunset:
1. Neemrana, India
2. Uluru, Australia
3. Okavango Delta, Botswana
4. Spitzkoppe, Namibia
5. Goreme, Turkey

[[Sign in Luxor, Egypt: YOU ARE IN THE EMBRACE OF THE HISTORY]]

[[Sign in Mount Abu, India: DO NOT TEASE WILD LIFE]]

[[Sign advertising rabies awareness in Bombay:
NOW, YOU DON'T NEED 14 LARGE PAINFUL INJECTIONS IN THE STOMACH AREA!]]

[[Sign at Hotel Evining View in Nepal:
PLEASE STAY HERE! / ONLY 15 MIN. TO LAMA HOTEL BUT THAT PLACE MAY BE CROWDE HERE QUIET AND FRIENDLY ATMOSPHER]]

[[Sign at sunglasses stand in Bangkok: GOOD QALITY! BEST SALLER!]]

Stinkiest
1. Varanasi, India: That's not beef you smell
2. Udaipur, India: That's not goat poo you smell
3. Kathmandu: Yes, that smell is what you think it is

Delcious menu items in the Asian subcontinent:
1. "Midel Eston food" (including "Is raeli salad" and "felafeel (4 balls)"
2. "Clod beverages"
3. "Cheese and Tom"
4. "Fish sizzlers"
5. "Pouched eggs"
6. "Banana craps"
7. "Fried children"
8. "Chicken chowmean"

Ubiquitous albums heard the world over:
1. Paint My Love--Michael Learns to Rock
(Hands down, this Danish Chicago sound-alike recorded is the world's biggest album. From South Africa Malaysia, I knew the words without even owning it.)
2. Legend--Bob Marley
(Get anywhere near a beach and someone's playing it...over and over. If he weren't already dead, I'd kill him myself.)
3. Tracy Chapman--Tracy Chapman
(More than a decade old, and it's still strong.)
4. Greatest Hits--Cat Stevens
(Heard everywhere except Muslim countries.)
5. "Pulp Fiction" soundtrack
(This former Number One is only played by posers now. Sadly, there are lots of posers out there.  Royally cheesy.)
Special mention: "It's Raining Men" by the Pointer Sisters. I can't explain it.

Everyone's favorite TV show worldwide: "The Simpsons".  No contest. (Yet everyone claims Americans can't fathom irony.)

Best beaches:
1. Perhentians, Malaysia
2. Mahebourg, Mauritius
3. Cintsa, South Africa

Surprisingly hip cities:
1. Istanbul, Turkey
2. Wellington, New Zealand
3. Melbourne, Australia
4. Mumbai/Bombay, India
5. Portland, Oregon, United States

Endlessly beautiful:
1. Nepal
2. New Zealand
3. Scotland
4. South Africa
5. Turkey

Shoot me:
1. Johannesburg
2. Canberra
3. Glasgow

Soul vacuums:
1. Canberra, Australia
2. Singapore
3. Johannesburg

Can't-stop-staring awe:
1. Aya Sophia, Istanbul, Turkey
2. Elephant herds, Namibia
3. Mount Everest, Nepal/China
4. The Great Pyramids, Egypt
5. The Bayon, Angkor Wat, Cambodia
6. Hong Kong skyline, China
7. Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe/Zambia
8. Table Mountain, Cape Town, South Africa
9. The Old City, Jerusalem, Israel
10. Petronas Towers, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Best food:
1. Thailand (green papaya salad!)
2. Italy  (you know!)
3. India (thali! lassis!)

Best snacks:
1. Wasabi hot peas, Asia
2. Ais kechang, Malaysia
3. Biltong, South Africa

Best weather:
1. South Africa
2. Turkey
3. Spain

Worst sanctioned official graft (visa, airport taxes, entrance fees, etc.)
1. Nepal
2. (with a bullet) Zimbabwe
3. Cambodia

Annoying foreigners:
The Americans in France
The Australians in Britain
The British in Australia and New Zealand and everywhere else
The Germans in Namibia
The freaks in India
The backpackers in Thailand

Embarrassing fellow travellers:
1. Thailand
2. India
3. France

Typical topics among backpackers:
1. Famous Canadians
2. Marks & Spencer
3. Football

Yuck
1. Johannesburg, South Africa
2. Athens, Greece
3. Kathmandu, Nepal
4. Haifa, Israel
5. Bulawayo, Zimbabwe

Ideal shagging sites:
1. The secluded coves of Lagos, Portugal
2. King Tut's Tomb, Luxor, Egypt
3. The cliffs above the Mediterranean Sea, Tel Aviv, Israel
4. Cascades d'Ouzoud, Morocco
5. The parapets of Jaisalmer, India
6. Kapi Mutitjulu water hole at Uluru, Australia
7. The Treasury, Petra, Jordan
8. Waitomo caves, New Zealand
9. The hillocks of Coffee Bay, South Africa
10.  Wildflower mountainside overlooking Jackson, Wyoming, United States

Posh hostels:
1. Istanbul Hostel, Turkey (marble bathrooms, wrought-iron bunk beds, view of the Bosphorous)
2. Toad Hall, Melbourne, Australia (old wooden fixtures, homey atmosphere)
3. Sydney Central YHA, Australia (card-key doors, smart lights--the world's largest hostel)
4. Ashanti Lodge, Cape Town (restored mansion aglow with warm wood, stratospheric ceilings)
5. Wellington YHA, New Zealand (feels like a proper hotel, private bath, views)

Xenophobes-R-Us
1. Chinese
2. Australians
3. Egyptians

Number of references to Kwanzaa in Africa, Sept. 1998 to Feb. 1999: 0

Involuntary weight loss:
1. Nepal (exercise)
2. Egypt (disease)
3. Cambodia (heat)

Involuntary weight gain:
1. Hong Kong (great food)
2. Namibia (too much beer, lots of driving)
3. Australia (junk food, too much beer, lots of driving)

Huh?  What?  I don't understand you!!
1. Scotland
2. Morocco
3. Israel
4. India
5. Hong Kong

Thrills:
Skydiving, New Zealand
Level 5 white water rafting, Zimbabwe/Zambia
Duneboarding, Namibia
Underground river rafting, New Zealand
Glacier hiking, New Zealand

Chills:
Brakeless VW Bug, South Africa
Meeting a witness of the crash as I showed photos to the car's owner, South Africa
Attack hippo, Botswana
Protected by machine gunners during riots in Wadi Mousa, Jordan
Witnessing a huge avalanche on Langtang, Nepal
An AMS death in our midst, Kyanjin Gompa, Nepal
Meeting my waitress from Paros, Greece in a Scottish pub
Forgetting my passport at the Kathmandu Airport
A scorpion lands on our cocktail table, Caprivi Strip, Namibia

[[The only phrases previously highlighted in my second-hand Nepali phrasebook:
"going on meter/meter ma jhane", "Tibetan monestery/gompa", "stomach/pet" "Nepali wine/chang", "Nepali whisky/raksi", "peas/kerau".]]

Top Questions I'm Asked:
"What's it like living in Manhattan?"
"Hello, rickshaw?"
"How much is rent in New York?"
"Did you go to Laos?"
"Play pool?"
"27?  Really?"
"What do you think of this Clinton thing?"
"Are you married?" (Muslim and Hindu countries only.)
"Why can't Americans work abroad?"
"Did you get sick in India?"

[[On the Malaysian entry card:
 BE FOREWARNED / DEATH FOR DRUG TRAFFICKERS UNDER / MALAYSIAN LAW]]

[[On the Botswanan entry card: WELCOME TO BOTWANA.(sic)]]

Biggest unforseen expenses:
1. E-mail and internet access
2. Departure taxes
3. Totalled cars
4. Postcards, stamps, and boxes of junk sent home
5. Airport transfers

Boons:
1. An Australian rail pass given to me by a German girl in Malaysia
2. Fake student I.D.s bought in Cairo and Bangkok
3.  Altering the date on my expired YHA card to get 2 more months of validity

Eternal (but unencountered) threats:
1. Being drugged on a train
2. Malaria
3. Stinging/biting animals

Diner's Club International: Kangaroo, Crocodile, Emu, Kudu, Ostrich, Haggis, deep-fried Mars bar, whole pigeon,
barracuda with garlic butter on a lovely beach, "flying vegetable"

It's better in other countries: Avocados, Snickers bars, olives, music, health care, international awareness

It's worse in other countries: Juice and cheese

[[Where I was during Columbine: Cambodia]]

Songs that will always remind me:
1. "Here's Where the Story Ends"--Tin Tin Out feat. Shelley Nelson
2. "Believe"--Cher
3. "April Fools"--Rufus Wainwright
4. "Thank U"--Alanis Morissette
5. "La Copa de la Vida"--Ricky Martin (the '98 World Cup theme song)
6. "No Matter What"--Boyzone
7. "Viva Forever"--Spice Girls
8. "Insane"--Texas
9. "If You Could Read My Mind"--Stars on 54 (and Gordon Lightfoot)
10. Anything at all by Sash!

My favorite walking-around music:
1. Rufus Wainwright
(My only album that never tired itself out. Goes equally well with barefoot Nepalese as it does cable-knit Melbournians.)
2. Robbie Williams
("No Regrets" became the anthem of my old life. Anger and joy.)
3. Squirrel Nut Zippers
(There's something so wrong about listening to them on an Indian bus that it feels somehow dizzyingly ironic.)

[[In the bio of the unctious James Lyon, who co-wrote my Lonely Planet Nepal Guidebook: "James is a sceptic by nature and a social scientist by training."]]

Architectural feats:
The Petronas Towers and KLCC: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Parliament House, Canberra, Australia
Bank of Hong Kong, Hong Kong
The World's Largest Fountain, Singapore
Millennium Dome, London

Most beautiful water:
1. Oludeniz, Turkey
2. Perhentian Kecil, Malaysia
3. Antiparos, Greece
4. Westland lakes, New Zealand
5. Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

Pestilence:
1. Mono/glandular fever
2. Food poisoning A, Durban, South Africa
3. Food poisoning B, Penom Penh, Cambodia
4. Irregular heartbeat, Nepal and Thailand
5. "Syphillis"
6. The poops, Spain to Egypt
7. Heat exhaustion A, Orange River, Namibia/South Africa
8. Heat exhaustion B, Thar Desert, India
9. Various colds (Coffee Bay, SA; New Zealand; Malaysia)
10. Leeches, Taman Negara, Malaysia

Haircuts:
1. No-name clip joint, Cairo
2. Flash the Barber, Goreme, Turkey
3. Peter the Haircutter, Cape Town
4. Seagull, Greenwich Village, New York City
5. Man with clippers, Mahebourg, Mauritius
6. Thai shave and massage, Chiang Mai, Thailand
7. Mate with shears, Chinatown, Sydney
8. Hindu barber, Nadi, Fiji

[[Graffiti in New Delhi: SATAN IS UNDER MY FEET IN JESUS]]

Expat holidays: 4th of July (Kosher wieners on pita during a 2-day ferry from Haifa, Israel to Rodos, Greece)
27th Birthday (Istanbul: the Aya Sophia, the Blue Mosque, Topkapi Palace)
Thanksgiving (last dinner with my travelling group: Mongolian BBQ in Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe)
Christmas (home with my family in Fort Lauderdale, USA)
2nd 4th (Having a hot dog at the port in Auckland, New Zealand)
28th Birthday (First day back in America--motorcycle riding in the Malibu Canyon, Los Angeles)

Animal fun:
1. Thousands of seals birthing fetuses, Kaap Kruis, Namibia
2. Thousands of gulls crapping poop, Lambert's Bay, South Africa
3. Thousands of rats drinking milk and being worshiped, Deshnoke, India
4. Farm Show, Rotorua, New Zealand (sheeps being sheared for entertainment)

Waist: 37 to 32

What else can I say? A million lives in one.

--Jason

Right now I'm in: New York City, United States